As I was readying myself to watch Jools Holland last night, excited about seeing Pentangle *and* the Gutter Twins on the same show..... I reached behind the cabinet to plug the bedroom telly in, but little did I know the back had fallen off the plug, and as I shoved it into the slot, the previously inert exposed copper wiring was now alive with electricity.
A surge shot through my body and threw me backwards. I felt the intense pain and heat. I held my arm in front of me, wide eyed, gasping for breath. At times like these, superpowers are born. I thought of Spider Man's foe, Electro, who got beaten up all the time, he was a bit rubbish to be honest. Electro - aka Max Dillon, whose backstory was thus :
"While he was repairing a power line, a freak lightning accident resulted in a mutagenic change in his nervous system, transforming Dillon into a living electrical capacitor. Taking the name Electro, he turned to a life of a professional criminal"
As I reeled back, beads of cold sweat trickled down my forehead I looked at my shaking hand. The middle finger of my right hand tingled and burned. And partly shocked, partly acutely aware of my new found powers, a feverish grin splashed across my face. I pointed my middle finger towards the cat, hoping to stick a few volts up her with a lightning bolt. I readied myself for hysterical laughter and a life of criminality. Nothing happened.
So instead I ran it under the tap and got Debbie to kiss it better and watched Jools Holland.
It's still a bit sore today, and there are some distinct if rather tiny melted bits on the tip of my finger.
Perhaps my powers are building within me, who can tell. That moment when I yelped like a girl and jumped in the air with a camp flourish may come back to haunt you all. Melectro is born! Muahahahahahahahahahah!!!!