Tuesday, 28 November 2006

Juliette and the Licks Photos - ULU

So here it was, one of my fave bands playing in my fave London venue - the University of London Union. Didn't realise they were licensed to play late (JL got on at 11.10) so the Bossman, Trigger and CD had to scarper for their last trains, leaving me on my tod, and they only got to see the quirky barrage of odd hippy punk that is Larrikin Love. Note, the guitarist/main plough operator had about 4 hairstyles on the go, but he didn't care. They came on after 10pm, and everyone was pretty steaming by then, so the mosh pit was jostling but not too crazy....

By the time JL came on, everyone (apart from me, as I was driving) was a drunk flailing mentalist down the front. I just wanted some pap shots, so I took my bruises and retreated, standing next to this huge heavy metal lank haired monster. Truly he was an immovable object and if any eight stone student so much as brushed his black string vest a stiff arm would flex out and twat down the buzzing mosquito. He did it with an impassive grace, and fixed expression, like a character from a Sergio Leone movie. Such detached professionalism impressed me, taking no pleasure in his business of mashing kids in the face, eyes fixed on stage throughout his endeavors.

I wish I got a photo of him, he was cool.

Anyway, I did get some photos of Juliette and the Licks.....

After she did her customary crowd surf I just took a random photo into the frenzied darkness. Not very flattering but made me crack up, her armpit and someones hand in her gusset. Lovely. I don't think I got her good side, and she doesn't look like a side of beef in real life.

thankyou and goodnight... last night in the UK for some months now!

Saturday, 18 November 2006

The Intrepid Fox

Sounds like the recently closed and historic landmark pub the Intrepid Fox is re-opening nearby after the original was sold off to property developers. Woo hoo! I'm not in the know so I haven't a clue where it will be other than "near Tottenham Court Road", I'll just wait till it opens, they'll probably have some celebs in on opening night, like Clive Dunn, Frankie Dettori, Princess Michael of Kent and George Galloway and Nick Griffin having a semi-naked oiled wrestling contest to the sounds of whooping goths.

If you're there, take photos please. I wanna see Galloways nibs (again). Hope he also does that robotic dancing in a leotard like in big brother, oh and that Nick Griffin gets bummed by a Masai warrior.

Thursday, 9 November 2006


Just back from Donegal, had a great time. It is a beautiful place, and I could picture myself living there. Stone cottage, log fire, irish wolfhounds, a long coat to keep out the chill. I would suck on a clay pipe carved in the image of a mermaid and look to the horizon, squinting my eyes as the biting wind hits me, the expanse of the atlantic all encompassing. I would be a novelist, an eccentric outsider, but always willing to play chess with the local fishermen who would pat me on the back and insist on buying me a pint of Guinness. A rugged weather lined Heathcliffe type anti-hero, a bohemian artwank in every sense of the word. Then the friends we were staying with told me the nearest tesco was a 90 minute drive away.
Bollocks to that! Thinking ahead about my shopping? I can't do that! I would starve, as would my irish wolfhounds who would rip me to pieces in a fit of hunger. I got frightened about my premonition of impending death, plans to migrate cancelled, the north west coast of ireland is not for urban lazy fuckers like me.

Saturday, 4 November 2006

Iceland pics 4 (more Go! Team)

More Go! Team pics...

Iceland pics - set 3 (go! team)

I normally listen to introspective fuzzy self indulgement morose bollocks, so when a band like the go! team hit the stage, all you can do is grin and dance like a loon, even if you can't dance, like me! They are hard to pigeon hole, so I wont try, but if you put a cheerlead troupe fronting my bloody valentine it gives you some indication of how different they are.

They are the most fun you can have at a gig. Seen them at the 100 club, electric ballroom, the astoria and now Rejkyavik Art Museum! Ninja the lead singer is just infectious, and talks in that chirpy norf london accent I sometimes regress into myself when I'm back in my old 'hood. Don't know why I think she is from North London when the go! team are from Brighton but whatever....

Friday night in Rejkyavik is something to behold, its when the locals go on the rampage, like their ancestors did in their longboats some centuries ago. Starting off the evening drinking at home, around 11pm the place explodes. I didn't try the beer/vodka combo that the guidebooks suggested, because I'm a lightweight.... anyway, Friday night, midnight, the Go! team come on. The mosh pit (yes, a mosh pit to the go! team) goes nuts and I get battered, wasn't expecting it, so sharpen elbows and get back in!
Only for a few minutes mind, had some photos to take....

Iceland photos - number 2, We are Scientists

Hail to the greatest moustache in rock. (Actually I don't know of any other moustaches in rock, not contemporary ones... suggestions please?)
Looking forward to seeing them next week in Brixton. Hated this venue they played in Rejkyavik. Low ceilings, hot, smelly and bad acoustics, nowhere to move, claustraphobic, terrible views and this is where icelanders really show how they get from one side of a room to the other, by trampling all over you! Once you get used to the fact they push and shove, and you embrace it yourself, its actually quite good fun and no one really gives a shit if you shunt them out of the way and not say excuse me! If that happened in Stevenage on a friday night though, they'll have to borrow a new police force for the evening to handle the fights. Heh Heh.

Iceland Photo Set number 1

I can't remember which way round these gigs occured when I was in iceland, but here are some photos. First up - Daniel Agust, who was actually really awesome. His live act is completely and utterly different to his studio album though. Bizarre. The album is all soft vocals, instrumental arrangements and strings. The live act was heartfelt dirty dark loud blues. He was great. Here is a photo of him lowering a pilchard into his second gullett. And no, I have no idea why the guitarist has glued a horses tail to the front of his head.

Now onto the cribs and the kaiser chiefs. Both bands were staying in our hotel. The night before they played they came into the hotel at 3am and politely requested drinks. Mr Wilson got his fine (I'm pretty sure members of metric and fields were also sitting round but I was oh so cool, flicking my fringe and ignoring them whilst stroking my £8 pint of lager). When the cribs arrived the finely bone structured and flouncy blondie metro-sexual viking boys behind the bar informed them it was shut. Now they don't look like rock stars, that much is true. They look like the stunted offspring of the three stooges, but embarrassingly I intervened and got them served, "Don't you know who these guys are?" I glowered at the lead flouncy barman (he was twice the size of me so I wouldn't call him that to his face). He said he didn't know, I said I didn't know either, so I had to ask their assistant who they were, not politely but "Who exactly are you?!". It was one of those time stopping moments Ricky Gervais captures so well in extras. The assistant sort of shuffled, looked down and quietly muttered "the cribs.. yeah the cribs". I was too merry to see the significance at the time though. And to cap it all when one of the WAGs asked for a cider, I spun my head round and said in my best Sonia Jackson bitch voice "they don't grow apples here" raised my eyebrows and looked back at my pint. Why did I do that? And did I subliminally pick up that there are no orchards in iceland? I wonder if that is true? Finally, when the cribs played the next night me and Trigger had the hump anyway and decided to slate them. They aren't crap, it was just not hitting the spot for us. Then we realised all of the WAGs were standing round us as we slated them. After this point whereever we ended up, members of the Kaisers or the Cribs were everywhere. At the blue lagoon, in the local cafe, hotel reception. If they wanted a photo taken with me, all they had to do was ask. I'm very approachable.

Above - the cribs. Below - Kaisers (they were ok I guess)

Friday, 3 November 2006

My dirty little secret

We were clearing out my brothers loft the other day of all our junk. He's selling his house, so had to visit to sort out and claim our stuff. And it was then I saw it. Unfortunately so did my long suffering other half.

If it was a stash of granny porno mags I'm sure it would have been much more palettable than what we uncovered. Yes... it was my (Advanced) Dungeons and Dragons game books. Oh, the shame.

Most spotty, self conscious, socially inept teenage losers take escapism in some form or other. Back in 1987, a collection of the finest losers ever to enroll on a BTEC course for Computer Studies assembled at Southgate technical college. It was here we created one of the most impressive AD&D adventure groups in history, no words were required. Just by glancing at my fellow nerds, geeks and losers, their baggy t-shirts with stupid slogans (a desperate attempt at being "cool"), toothpaste covered zits, mournful eyes, eyes that had been pounded by bullies on many occasions and frizzy fucked up hair, I knew I'd met my brethren. We were the morlocks. The underbelly of the student social underclass. And we were also studying computers. How low could you get? We did look like the cast of one flew over the cuckoo's nest, except none of us were witty or cool enough to be Jack Nicholson.

At lunchtimes, sometimes on glorious summer days, we would gather in one of the dark computer rooms, thin rays of light squeezing through the slats of the window blinds, dust drifting and sticking into our hair gel, and roll 20 sided dice desperately wanting to get double damage on that elusive vampire lord who toyed with us.

I felt a pang of nostalgia and sorrow for the person I used to be. Not that I've changed that much of course, I'm no 15th level Ranger by any means. But I do have a +3 Sarcasm attack.

I've kept the books, no way am I chucking them!