Sunday, 19 October 2008

Smelly Cheese

I purchased this smelly gooey rindy cheese the other day from a nice deli in Woburn Sands, they didn't have my normal supply of galician Chorizo sausages and i felt lost when I got there, so I felt I had to buy something as I had no "plan B" and it would be a dishonorable retreat if I walked out buying nothing. All military commanders should have a plan B. I didn't, and I was angry with myself as now I looked like a shuffling plum in front of the nice lady.
So I thought, I know, I'll buy some cheese from the counter. It looked a bit like brie so i thought it would be a safe bet, and it was only later I discovered the difference being it stinks like a dead cat and costs three times as much.
I'm forcing myself to eat it though, it makes my skin crawl when I open the box it's kept in and touch the grainy rind, and squishy innards of it, seeping milky liquid and bubbling. I'm throwing it away if I can find a secure strong box, it's like a fucking creature that will escape from the fridge and smother me one night. I can hear it breathing.... it's coming...

No comments: