Friday, 3 November 2006

My dirty little secret

We were clearing out my brothers loft the other day of all our junk. He's selling his house, so had to visit to sort out and claim our stuff. And it was then I saw it. Unfortunately so did my long suffering other half.

If it was a stash of granny porno mags I'm sure it would have been much more palettable than what we uncovered. Yes... it was my (Advanced) Dungeons and Dragons game books. Oh, the shame.

Most spotty, self conscious, socially inept teenage losers take escapism in some form or other. Back in 1987, a collection of the finest losers ever to enroll on a BTEC course for Computer Studies assembled at Southgate technical college. It was here we created one of the most impressive AD&D adventure groups in history, no words were required. Just by glancing at my fellow nerds, geeks and losers, their baggy t-shirts with stupid slogans (a desperate attempt at being "cool"), toothpaste covered zits, mournful eyes, eyes that had been pounded by bullies on many occasions and frizzy fucked up hair, I knew I'd met my brethren. We were the morlocks. The underbelly of the student social underclass. And we were also studying computers. How low could you get? We did look like the cast of one flew over the cuckoo's nest, except none of us were witty or cool enough to be Jack Nicholson.

At lunchtimes, sometimes on glorious summer days, we would gather in one of the dark computer rooms, thin rays of light squeezing through the slats of the window blinds, dust drifting and sticking into our hair gel, and roll 20 sided dice desperately wanting to get double damage on that elusive vampire lord who toyed with us.

I felt a pang of nostalgia and sorrow for the person I used to be. Not that I've changed that much of course, I'm no 15th level Ranger by any means. But I do have a +3 Sarcasm attack.

I've kept the books, no way am I chucking them!

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