Thursday, 8 February 2007

Winter Ramble in the Woods

I worked from home today, the snow was teeming down and having no meetings it all worked out quite well. After a busy morning and afternoon, took a late lunch and wandered down into the moors and woods with me other half who was also snowed in, only a few minutes walk from my house.

I got an opportunity to wear one of my favourite hats (of which I have several). One I keep for Arctic Explorer weather.

First stop - the goats, or sheep, or whatever they are. They look delicious though.

Then into the open field, where in the distance you can see the ghostly stooped shape of a snowman....

Must find snowman and pose next to him.... I look like I've got lady legs in this picture for some reason. It must be the snowman, I should carry one round with me, they are a good slimming accessory. I look like I'm about to mince. And yes, wellingtons, I love them, never thought I'd say that. Now I want a shotgun too. If I am destined to live in the country then I need to shoot things. Starting with this snowmans face. Smug twat. Boom! Smiling now you prick? Yeah? Yeah? Want some more? Boom!

I'm sorry to break the news guys, but one of your mates is .... dead. His snowman corpse is over there. Here's a couple of carrots to cheer you up, as I notice your noses are shit.

Moving swiftly on... the moors are criss crossed by streams, it's marshland after all and very boggy. The red tinge in the stream is because it has a high iron content, not because I've shot animals and people and dumped their bodies upriver.

In the olden days people used to bottle the water and sell it to people as a tonic. Now it is full of wee wee and radiation. Don't drink the water, it will make you insane and want to bum goats.

Here is a frozen boggy pond. Can you see the man scratching under the ice gasping for breath?

I'm so excited it's snowed.

Me after my snowman killing spree, looking relaxed.


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